My wife, Wendy, and I have been working on a little project for a couple of months at our church. It's a little something that sprung out of a need we saw in our church and a recognition that there were few churches in our area ministering to that need. We are parents of a child with special needs. You wouldn't know it by looking at him...he has, after all, my roguish good looks. His disabilities are in the cognitive and language areas. Anyway, all of that to say that we've noticed a need for an area in our church for parents and children who have special needs to be able to worship without feeling like they were hindering the worship of others around them. A place with no stares, no irritated coughs, no raised eye brows, no mumbling under the breath about getting your child under control, and no pitiful looks. Honestly, I find it hard to sit through an hour long service, sometimes, without wanting to burst out with a yell or do a couple of laps around the sanctuary, myself, so we got to thinking on what we could offer that would allow parents a place where they could hangout on days that their child might be having "a day" (that's what we call it when Colby gets in one of his moods where he just can't sit and be quiet and makes it his goal to embarrass us until he gets his way). We came up with a room just for this purpose. It's really neat because it has some toys, puzzles and coloring books for the kids, but also has a TV which is streaming a live feed of the worship service for the parents. Now, parents can enjoy the service with other parents who may be in the same boat AND not have to worry about their child being the source of mass chaos.
Now, as I stated at the beginning, this has been a project that has been months in the making. I gave up my office to make a space available which was large enough, close enough and offered the technology we needed to make this happen. We had to gather up all the materials and install all the audio visual equipment. The odd thing is that as much work has gone into the room, the hardest part of the whole ordeal has been deciding on a name for it. Why? Well, though I'm ok with the idea myself, a lot of folks we talked to didn't want to just call it the "special needs room". They felt it carried a bad connotation...a label, if you will. That really got me to thinking. You may think me odd, but when I think about my special needs child, Colby, I don't think of him as weird or odd or different. Colby is, actually, really normal! Because of Colby, I've gotten to know a few other "special" children and I can say without hesitation that most of these "special needs" children really aren't that much more "needy" than any of us "normal" folks...in fact, in some ways, they are MORE normal than we are!
Let's explore that last statement for a bit, shall we? First of all, all the term "special needs" conveys is that a person is lacking some ability. We also call it a disability or handicap. For some, what's lacking is the area of cognition, for others it's mobility, for still others it may be communication or social abilities. Usually, though the lack in one area may be severe, the individual can still function. I've met children with Down Syndrome who are some of the sweetest, most loving people you'll ever meet. I've met children in wheel chairs and walkers who are some of the smartest kids you'll ever know. In fact, I have a friend with Cerebral Palsy who has a great sense of humor and is a genius when it comes to beating me in cards! I've met kids, like Colby, who may struggle academically and expressively, but have an incredible ability to relate to others and use common sense, despite their handicap. I've also met seemingly normal people who are considered successful by society, but are incredibly mean spirited...lacking compassion. I've known people who are leaders in church and other walks of life, yet have debilitating levels of pride and self-righteousness. I've met "normal" people who are extremely academic, but have an inability to relate to others. I've met men who are hard workers, but are emotionally handicapped in such a way that they can't show proper love to their wives or children. I've met women who seem to be the picture of beauty and grace, but barely hide the bitterness and emotional turmoil brewing inside them. I've met husbands and wives who seem to function well in all other areas of life, but can't hold together a marriage because of their inability to communicate. I know of men who look like they have it all together on the outside, but inside they are disabled by lust and selfishness. In fact, almost everyone I've met has some sort of handicap! I do and I'm sure you do too!!
The truth is that you may look at my child and think that his disability "marks" him or provides him with a "label". I don't see it that way at all! What I DO see is that we've identified what our child struggles with and are working on it? The question is have YOU identified what YOU struggle with and are YOU working on it? You see, the truth is that we are all "special needs" people because we all struggle. None of us are perfect...especially when we start talking spiritually. To see what the Bible has to say about this, check out Romans 3:10-26. In this passage, Paul makes it clear that we are all spiritually needy and that Jesus is the only one who can fix our handicap. You can deny your need for Him all day, but that doesn't make you any less needy! You can resist the therapy He wants to put you through in order to bring healing, but that doesn't make you any stronger...it actually means you're pretty weak! Or, you can accept what He's done to fulfill your need. You can surrender to what He wants to do in you so that He may grow you and remediate you. You can give yourself over to His IEP (Individualized Education Plan for all of you mainstream education folks) for your life so that you may learn how to live in a right relationship with Him and with others. The choice is yours...you can seek help for your "special need" or you can live in denial. But know this...living in denial doesn't make you any less "needy" or any more "normal".
So, this Sunday my special little family will be attending worship via live video feed, at our church, in the "No Name" room while all the normal folks get the full, live experience in the real special needs room, also known as the Sanctuary. Wherever you worship, I pray that your needs are identified and you find them met in Jesus.
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