Filthy Cheaters

It's always amazed me how some things that happen in your past just seem to cement themselves in your mind so that you never forget them.  I've been happily married to my beautiful wife for 18 years, but there are still a few things from my dating days that I remember.  I really only dated two girls during my teenage years.  One of them is now my wife...yes, we were high school sweethearts.  However, before her there was this other girl.  Now, let me be completely honest.  I liked the girl, but I definitely would not say I loved her.  Truth is, I had no idea what love was at that time.  I can say, though, that I have always valued faithfulness and loyalty (I attribute this to reading too many Louis L'amour books, growing up...go look him up, it's good stuff).  Anyway, all of that to say that this first relationship ended because I found out the girl had spent a Saturday with another guy at a local water slide.  Now the irony of all of this is that it was my next girlfriend and future wife who let me in on this little secret!  It's all very funny to me now, but when it happened I was really upset by it all.  Not because I was in love with this girl, mind you, but because I didn't like the idea of being cheated on!  I was loyal to her and I expected the same in return!  To say I was hurt is a little bit of a stretch, but I was definitely mad.  You know how I felt because I'm sure you, yourself, have felt the sting of a relationship gone bad because of disloyalty or unfaithfulness.

Loyalty and faithfulness are some of the most important traits in healthy relationships.  In fact, when it comes to patriotism, there was a time where disloyalty was a capital offense.  Wendy and I made a commitment to one another when we first got married that we would never even consider the idea of divorce...except under one condition...that of unfaithfulness.  We trust each other implicitly...and part of the reason we can do that is because we both understand, completely, the consequences of "cheating".  Cheating destroys relationships and hurts countless innocent people surrounding the "cheaters".  All of us know of families destroyed by cheating fathers or mothers.  Some of you may even be the product of a home destroyed by unfaithfulness and, to this day, you still carry the baggage associated with the loss that "cheating" brings.  As a minister to students, I'm constantly reminded of the turmoil that is brought about in the lives of teens by broken families.

So...upshot of this whole thing so far is that cheating is not a good thing!  Sidenote time...what has to happen in order for restoration to take place when cheating happens?  A whole lot of repentance, humility and forgiveness must take place!  And, perhaps, even a good bit of counseling!  Point being, cheating is easy while faithfulness is not and restoration is nearly impossible!

Now, lets make a little spiritual application of these thought.  This guy, James, is writing this letter to the Jewish people back in the first century and he's telling them that empty faith is useless.  It does nothing to save you and definitely doesn't mark you as a true believer.  James says that what you do marks you much more than anything you could say or even believe.  So, to Jimmy, the way people who claim to be Jesus followers behave in this world is of utmost importance.  In fact, he equates a worldly way of living with unfaithfulness towards God.

It's no secret that one of the ways the Bible illustrates the relationship of believers with Christ is as a marriage.  We are the "Bride" of Christ.  Go back to the Old Testament book of Hosea and you get a beautiful picture of what God is up to, concerning His people.  The picture we get is that of humanity, selling itself into prostitution to this world and a sinful way of living and thinking.  In great love, however, God (like Hosea did for Gomer) comes to where we are practicing our unfaithfulness and buys us back from that way of living.  Hosea used money to buy back Gomer while God uses something much more valuable (in fact, priceless)...the life of His only Son.

This is where ole Jim takes up the story.  According to his way of thinking, it would be absolutely crazy for someone who had been liberated from this way of life and brought into glorious freedom and a perfect relationship with someone who truly loves them to ever want to go back to that old way of life.  However, some folks do!  It's insane, but these people "cheat" on the One who chose and loved them...the One who liberated them and gave them a proper relationship...by going back to being friends with and hanging out with their old pimp (the world).  So James calls them out on it.  Listen to what he says, "Adulteresses!  Do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?  So whoever wants to be the world's friend becomes God's enemy.  Or do you think it's without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit He has caused to live in us yearns jealously?"  (James 4:4-5)  Did you get that?  If you're a person who claims to know Jesus...who claims to follow Him...yet is identified with the world in the way you live, act, talk, dress, etc. then James labels you as a "cheater"!  In fact, he says you're actually living as an enemy of God regardless of what your mouth may claim to be otherwise true!

Now, this ought to hit some of us right between the eyes.  And, for others of us, it should absolutely break our hearts.  The church has lost almost all of its influence here in America.  Why?  Could it be because we're "cheating" on the one who truly deserves our loyalty and love by making friends with His enemy?  I know you're thinking, "Wait a minute...I'm not the devil's friend?"  I would suggest that if you are enjoying the offerings of the devil...if you're partnering with those who do his work...if you're joining in the behavior of those who wittingly or unwittingly follow him...then you are, in fact, his friend!  I mean, you can't really claim to be the holy bride of Christ if you're covered in the filth of the world, right?  And, if you're buddying up with this world then you are "cheating" on the one who desires, more than anything, to set you free from that life!

So, if you find yourself in this situation, what is the proper response?  Well, you could do one of three things.  You could try to conceal it.  Many "christians" do, in fact, try to do this.  They live one way when they're in front of the "christian" crowd, but a totally different way in front of folks who aren't part of that crowd.  However, remember that "cheaters never win".  Eventually, the truth comes out about everyone!  Another thing you could try to do is deny it.  You could convince yourself that just because you have a few "guilty pleasures" doesn't mean you're setting yourself against God.  You could convince yourself that a word here or there doesn't really matter or that a peek here or there doesn't really matter or that an unethical action is sometimes needed to get ahead or that what you listen to, watch, etc. doesn't really define or affect you or fill in the blank.  However, remember that though you may try to live your life in the grey, with God there is only black or white!  You may deny that you are a cheater, but if you're cheating you can't really hide the fact from the One who really matters!  Finally, you could admit it...and change.  And, by the way, this is the only correct way to deal with the problem.  Check out what James says we ought to be doing when we find ourselves acting unfaithfully towards God.  "Submit to God.  But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people!  Be miserable and mourn and weep.  Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you." (James 4:7-10)

Sounds like we fix our unfaithfulness to God the same way we would with anyone else.  A lot of humility, repentance and even some counseling from God's Holy Spirit.  The greatest part of it...God is faithful to forgive!

Soooo...all that to say that I really can't stand cheaters.  The worst part of the whole story is that I am one, myself!  I've cheated on the One who has been faithful to me in thick and thin...the only One who was willing to die to redeem me from my unfaithful lifestyle.  Nowadays, I'm trying to live faithfully with my God and I pray that all of the rest of you cheaters are joining me in the endeavor!

I feel so centered after reading this!

I'm going to teach you a new word.  You ready for it?  Here it is...geocentrism.  Any idea what it means?  Years and years ago, people actually believed that the earth was the center of the universe and that EVERYTHING revolved around it.  The reason they thought this was because they observed the movement of the sun, stars, moon and planets through the sky.  As they studied this, they came to the conclusion that the earth must remain in a fixed position while all the other bodies moved.  This was the widely held view until a few important people came along.  A fella by the name of Copernicus was one of the first to challenge this idea.  Since he was bucking all common knowledge at the time AND the religious establishment who saw the earth's geocentricity as theological, his thoughts went over like a bucket of bricks.  Galileo was the first guy who was really able to give any concrete evidence to the new theory of a sun centered solar system though.  He had a nice tool...a telescope...which he used to try and prove his point.  Regardless of his evidence, however, he had a pretty tough time of it as well as the established academia of the day and the Catholic church let him have it for his beliefs.

Today, we are certain that the earth is not the center of the solar system.  No one, other than a few fruit cakes out there, would claim that everything revolves around the earth.  The whole reason I bring this up is though we are no longer geocentric folks (in other words we don't think the universe revolves around the earth), most of us ARE egocentric folks (in other words we think the world revolves around us)!  All of us are born with a selfish streak in us.  Just watch a bunch of two year olds playing together and you'll realize that selfish ambition is just something we're born with.  No one teaches children to be selfish...they just are!  Take my kids for example.  If one has a toy, all of the others want it.  It doesn't matter that they've already played with that toy till they're sick of it.  If they see someone else enjoying it, they want it back!  Why is this the case?  Because we don't want anyone to have more happiness than us, and, for most of us, that means that we don't want anyone to have more ANYTHING than us!  We're selfish.  Now, as adults, this looks a little different.  We don't just take things away from others...usually...but we do compete with them in a pretty bad way.  We don't want our neighbors to have a better house than us.  We don't want our friends to drive better cars than us.  We don't want anyone to have a better job than us.  We climb ladders, build bigger and better and buy more expensive all in an effort to outdo everyone else and have ALL the happiness for ourselves.  And, if we sense that someone might be doing a little better than we are, we are JEALOUS!  We have selfish ambitions.  ALL of us.  Even you!  It's just part of our human nature.  Selfish...Ambitions.

There was this one guy, however, who didn't have selfish ambitions.  He didn't compete with those around him.  In fact, he was pretty chill about climbing the ladder.  He didn't try to gather a lot of followers (if he had had twitter, I'm sure he would have been following many more than were following him).  He didn't really try to impress.  He was just who he was.  And...instead of being selfish, he was selfless.  That's right, instead of demanding and taking, he surrendered and gave away!  Yeah!  This fella, Jesus, wasn't like the rest of us.  In fact, in the greatest sacrificial act of giving in all of history he gave something that most of us spend our whole lives trying to hold on to...his life!  Paul said this about him, "God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!" (Romans 5:8).  That sounds pretty doggone selfless doesn't it?  Yeah, Jesus was all about selfless affection!

Now, if that's where it all ended we could just say, "Oh, nice story!" and go on about our business, but that's not where it ends!  For those who know Him personally, this Jesus is working to change them!  You see, when someone gets to know Him, He connects His Spirit with theirs and He starts to do some radical stuff.  Most of all, He starts the process of moving them from being self-centered, self-indulgent and self-serving little punks to being other-centered, self-denying, self-sacrificing little saints!  It's a process...and for some it takes longer than others...but it happens!  What He's up to is making us like Him.  He's giving us a new nature...and with that new nature, selfless...affections!

Now, it's time for a little bit of honesty.  You and I have both known people who claim to be "Christians", yet are still some of the most selfish people you'll come across.  I'll be honest about this...I can't explain that.  However, I DO KNOW one thing...when people really meet Jesus if affects them!  Sooooo...if someone claims to know Jesus, but the pattern of their life is one marked by selfishness then you and I have good reason to wonder about the reality of said relationship.  In fact, I believe that one of the biggest and most legitimate beefs that an unbelieving world has with "Christians" is the fact that so many of us are just so stinking self-centered.  And, though an unbelieving world may not know Jesus, they know enough about Jesus to know that He wasn't like some of the folks they know who bear His name.

So, yeah, the earth is not the center of the solar system...and, guess what, you're not the center of the world!  And, if you're a believer you definitely aren't the center of ANYTHING!  And...that's really a good thing!  Now, quit reading this and go make someone's day!

I WROTE THIS ESPECIALLY FOR YOU!

My wife, Wendy, and I have been working on a little project for a couple of months at our church.  It's a little something that sprung out of a need we saw in our church and a recognition that there were few churches in our area ministering to that need.  We are parents of a child with special needs.  You wouldn't know it by looking at him...he has, after all, my roguish good looks.  His disabilities are in the cognitive and language areas.  Anyway, all of that to say that we've noticed a need for an area in our church for parents and children who have special needs to be able to worship without feeling like they were hindering the worship of others around them.  A place with no stares, no irritated coughs, no raised eye brows, no mumbling under the breath about getting your child under control, and no pitiful looks.  Honestly, I find it hard to sit through an hour long service, sometimes, without wanting to burst out with a yell or do a couple of laps around the sanctuary, myself, so we got to thinking on what we could offer that would allow parents a place where they could hangout on days that their child might be having "a day" (that's what we call it when Colby gets in one of his moods where he just can't sit and be quiet and makes it his goal to embarrass us until he gets his way).  We came up with a room just for this purpose.  It's really neat because it has some toys, puzzles and coloring books for the kids, but also has a TV which is streaming a live feed of the worship service for the parents.  Now, parents can enjoy the service with other parents who may be in the same boat AND not have to worry about their child being the source of mass chaos.

Now, as I stated at the beginning, this has been a project that has been months in the making.  I gave up my office to make a space available which was large enough, close enough and offered the technology we needed to make this happen.  We had to gather up all the materials and install all the audio visual equipment.  The odd thing is that as much work has gone into the room, the hardest part of the whole ordeal has been deciding on a name for it.  Why?  Well, though I'm ok with the idea myself, a lot of folks we talked to didn't want to just call it the "special needs room".  They felt it carried a bad connotation...a label, if you will.  That really got me to thinking.  You may think me odd, but when I think about my special needs child, Colby, I don't think of him as weird or odd or different.  Colby is, actually, really normal!  Because of Colby, I've gotten to know a few other "special" children and I can say without hesitation that most of these "special needs" children really aren't that much more "needy" than any of us "normal" folks...in fact, in some ways, they are MORE normal than we are!  

Let's explore that last statement for a bit, shall we?  First of all, all the term "special needs" conveys is that a person is lacking some ability.  We also call it a disability or handicap.  For some, what's lacking is the area of cognition, for others it's mobility, for still others it may be communication or social abilities.  Usually, though the lack in one area may be severe, the individual can still function.  I've met children with Down Syndrome who are some of the sweetest, most loving people you'll ever meet.  I've met children in wheel chairs and walkers who are some of the smartest kids you'll ever know.  In fact, I have a friend with Cerebral Palsy who has a great sense of humor and is a genius when it comes to beating me in cards!  I've met kids, like Colby, who may struggle academically and expressively, but have an incredible ability to relate to others and use common sense, despite their handicap.  I've also met seemingly normal people who are considered successful by society, but are incredibly mean spirited...lacking compassion.  I've known people who are leaders in church and other walks of life, yet have debilitating levels of pride and self-righteousness.  I've met "normal" people who are extremely academic, but have an inability to relate to others.  I've met men who are hard workers, but are emotionally handicapped in such a way that they can't show proper love to their wives or children.  I've met women who seem to be the picture of beauty and grace, but barely hide the bitterness and emotional turmoil brewing inside them.  I've met husbands and wives who seem to function well in all other areas of life, but can't hold together a marriage because of their inability to communicate.  I know of men who look like they have it all together on the outside, but inside they are disabled by lust and selfishness.  In fact, almost everyone I've met has some sort of handicap!  I do and I'm sure you do too!!

The truth is that you may look at my child and think that his disability "marks" him or provides him with a "label".  I don't see it that way at all!  What I DO see is that we've identified what our child struggles with and are working on it?  The question is have YOU identified what YOU struggle with and are YOU working on it?  You see, the truth is that we are all "special needs" people because we all struggle.  None of us are perfect...especially when we start talking spiritually.  To see what the Bible has to say about this, check out Romans 3:10-26.  In this passage, Paul makes it clear that we are all spiritually needy and that Jesus is the only one who can fix our handicap.   You can deny your need for Him all day, but that doesn't make you any less needy!  You can resist the therapy He wants to put you through in order to bring healing, but that doesn't make you any stronger...it actually means you're pretty weak!  Or, you can accept what He's done to fulfill your need.  You can surrender to what He wants to do in you so that He may grow you and remediate you.  You can give yourself over to His IEP (Individualized Education Plan for all of you mainstream education folks) for your life so that you may learn how to live in a right relationship with Him and with others.  The choice is yours...you can seek help for your "special need" or you can live in denial.  But know this...living in denial doesn't make you any less "needy" or any more "normal".

So, this Sunday my special little family will be attending worship via live video feed, at our church, in the "No Name" room while all the normal folks get the full, live experience in the real special needs room, also known as the Sanctuary.  Wherever you worship, I pray that your needs are identified and you find them met in Jesus.