Ok, so I'm about to bare my soul here. And, I know this is going to come really unexpected and some of you may think it even unbelievable. However, I really feel like I need to get this off my chest. It's something I've felt for a long time anyway. And, truth be told, I've finally come to grips with the fact that it's just who I am. I've realized that I need to be comfortable in my own skin and stop trying to be someone I'm not. I know that when I divulge what I'm about to tell you that I can't take it back and that, from this point forward, everyone will know this about me. Though I've tried hard to hide what I'm about to tell you over the years, I think it's time that I finally come clean. The truth will come out eventually, anyway, so it's best if I be the one that reveals it.
So, here goes... I...don't....like...people! Seriously, I really don't. People irritate me sooooo bad! I really don't like civilization very much either. No kidding! I could really do without both. In my opinion, people are inherently selfish, self-centered and self-aggrandizing (look this word up www.dicitionary.com). And what's worse, at least in my opinion, is that "Christian" people are some of the worst. Honestly, I've met "lost" people that are much more likable than some of the Christians I know...especially those pious, self-righteous types who have it out for other people. Trust me, I've been on the receiving end of some of this kind's actions. Yep, I just don't really like them... By the way, I'm a person too so that means that, when it boils down to it, I really don't even like myself! There, I said it. The truth is that I could, seriously, become a hermit. I could move off to a mountain somewhere with a dog and a gun...build me a cabin...and never come down the mountain unless I needed to buy some sugar or coffee. I've even imagined this life before. Don't get me wrong, now...I do love people, I just don't like people as a whole. I really love my family...so much so, in fact, that they're a pretty big reason I'm not on a mountain somewhere! You see, my dislike of people is nothing akin to hatred, I just tend to be an introvert who likes to be alone, enjoys nature and could spend hours off by myself just thinking. And, people tend to get in the way of all these things. And, right here and now, I just had a breakthrough! The reason I feel this way is because I, too, am selfish, self-centered and self aggrandizing! Writing is so cathartic!
Now, I know, some of you are thinking, "Well, you jerk, if you dislike people so much why don't you just go be a hermit or a monk or something...we don't need you anyway!" Well, that's just the rub. As much as I don't like people, I realize something that is very important. Regardless of how we feel about humanity, NONE OF US WERE MEANT TO BE ALONE!!! That's right, we were created for relationship! Of course, if you don't believe in a worldview that involves a Creator then you could argue that we've evolved past the need for community, but I DO believe in a Creator so I CAN'T argue that. Those of you who buy into a Biblical worldview, or at least will entertain such, may ask, "Well, Wayne, how do you know we were made for relationship?" Well, I'll answer that question for you. I know this to be true for four reasons. Here they are and I'll be brief...because I really don't like talking either!
First, God said so. Go all the way back to Genesis and look at the creation of the first man. Adam was the ultimate hermit at the beginning. It was just Adam and all his animals. They were having a grand ole time, hanging out together in the Garden. Adam was naming the animals and, I believe, he had a type of relationship with them...however, he had little in common with them. So it was, that God up and says, "Hey, it's not good for Adam to be alone...let's make him a companion." And, oh what a companion He made for him. Eve was the most beautiful woman in the world...of course, she was the only woman in the world...ba-dump-dump. Honestly, I have a feeling that Eve, probably, was a looker. She was created directly by the hand of God...no blemishes. No wonder when Adam saw her the first time he exclaimed, "Whoa Man!" (Get it?) Anyway, in his declaration that man shouldn't be alone and his subsequent creation of a companion for Adam, God demonstrated that we were meant for community. By the way...just to take that a little further...God wasn't happy for them to just keep each other company...He gave them the command to "be fruitful and multiply". In other words, "Ya'll go off and have y'all a bunch of babies, now. Build yourself a little Adam & Eve Smith (I'm sure that was their last name) community!"
Second reason I know we were made for community? Look at what was, primarily, affected by the entrance of sin into the world. Adam and Eve disobeyed God (we call this the fall). Now, there were a lot of ripple effects from this decision. God illustrates some of them in Genesis 3, however, the real WAVES all had to do with relationships. First, man's relationship with God. Because, in his disobedience, man turned his back on God, he was, by his own choice, separated from God. God kicking Adam & Eve out of the Garden was not God saying, "I don't want anything to do with you, you filthy sinner!" It was God granting mankind their wish of independence from Him. If Adam had wanted to stay in a relationship with God, he would have obeyed Him. By choosing to disobey Him, Adam was making a statement...ie, "Get out of my bidness, God!" So, God gave him his wish. If I invited someone to live with me and they decided they wanted to have nothing to do with me would I be the one to leave? Heck no! I'd say, "Well, hit the road Jack! Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!" Not only did Adam's relationship with God suffer, his relationship with Eve suffered also. Who did Adam blame for his sin? Eve! I'm sure she felt loved in that moment... Notice, also, that when God is describing the fall-out from their decision that he clearly tells them both that their relationship with one another will be, forever, altered. In Genesis 3:17, God tells the woman, "Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will dominate you." God is telling Eve that, from that point forward, she's going to demand equality of power and leadership with her husband, but that her husband (or men, for that matter) will never let it happen. So, how far do we have to look to see those effects today? Not far, right? Ladies, you can demand it all you want, but there just ain't going to be any real gender equality this side of heaven! And you have a woman...and a man...to thank for that! Anyway...Adam & Eve end up having kids, right? And what do we see in scripture? The first dysfunctional family! Cain and Abel's relationship with one another was strained, at best, I think it's safe to say. So...the primary thing that was destroyed by sin & selfishness was relationship! Relationship with God and one another...
Ok, the third reason I know we're created for relationship is Jesus. Jesus made it clear that He came for two reasons. First to reconnect us to a proper relationship with God and, secondly, to unite us in proper relationship with one another. "Whoa, Wayne, you're going to sum up everything Jesus did with that simple phrase?" Um...no...I won't...because Jesus already did that. Read Matthew 22:37-39. These guys, the Pharisees...who didn't like Jesus very much, by the way...asked Him to sum up the entirety of Scripture in a short, simple, easy to remember phrase. That, my friends, would be a pretty hard task for anyone. However, Jesus, always up for a challenge, says it all boils down to two things...first, love God more than anything (sounds a bit relational to me) and love other people as much as you love yourself (sounds a bit relational too, don't ya think). Here's something amazing...these guys disagreed with most of the things Jesus said, yet NO ONE disagreed with Him on this! Why? Because it struck a major chord of truth with them all! They realized that the major things all jacked up in this world revolved around relationships! So when Jesus said, "Hey, have a right relationship with God and a right relationship with others," they couldn't disagree. Now, what Jesus reveals throughout the rest of His teachings is that He is God's answer to the problem of bad relationships. He's the fix!
And, the final reason I know we're created for relationship is the early church. Acts is the story of the early church. In chapter 2, we get this amazing picture of what it looks like when we correctly relate to God and one another. These folks were taking care of each other, being selfless, selling off their stuff to provide for one another, praying for each other, meeting together and sharing life together. They were the quintessential picture of what God intended community to look like. Hey, and other people noticed too. In fact, people saw such a difference in this group of people that it either drove them to want to join them to get what they had OR it drove them to hate them and try to stamp them out. Not too many were like, "Eh, I'm kinda neutral on the Christians...they do their thing and I do mine." Their sense of community and relationship was radically revolutionary. These new Christians realized that God's regenerative work in them was going to be, primarily, fleshed out in the context of relationship! In fact, when you read the rest of the New Testament, almost every teaching that is brought up has something either to do with our relationship with God or one another!
So, yeah, we were created for relationship. It's been said that no man is an island unto himself...and, guess what? It's true. The reason that I don't like people is because I have a sin nature inside of me that fuels my selfishness, self-centeredness and self-aggrandization (did you look it up yet?). And, as much as I'd like to say, "forget ya'll, I'm going to my mountain", I can't because God designed me, and you, for relationship! In fact, I dare you to try to live out true Christianity...true faith...apart from relationships! It can't be done! Let's face it...if you were the only human in your little world there would be no opportunities for you to demonstrate mercy, grace, love, sacrifice, forgiveness, giving, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, praise, encouragement, service, teaching, etc. You wouldn't be faced with hard relationships that require you to respond as Christ would. Truth is that the only person who would ever see YOU live out YOUR faith would be YOU and I have a sneaking suspicion that YOU would always think that YOU were right on task. Ha!
So, when you get to the book of James and he makes claims in Chapter 2 about how your faith is demonstrated through your relationships realize that, for James, your faith is, at it's very core, relational! When he says, "speak and act as those who will be judged by the law of freedom" understand that he doesn't think this is possible outside of relationships. Relationships are important! In fact, you could say that what is happening in your relationships with OTHER people right now is indicative of what is going on with your relationship with God right now. Does that burn anyone else out there other than me? Yep, relationships are important! Hey, how are you leveraging yours to demonstrate the love of God and the change He's made in you?
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